a little romance with life

Gallery में छुपी हुई तस्वीरों को छूते हुए खुद को आज पूछती हूँ कौनसी जगह दर्द होता है? और जवाब आने से पहले आंसू आते है कौनसी जगह दर्द नहीं होता ? कभी नए रिश्ते बनाते वक़्त शरीर कांपता नहीं था डर था , पर जानलेवा नहीं था पुरानी मैं , थोड़ी हलकी थी शायद   कहाँ दर्द होता है ? गलियों में , मस्जिदों में दुकानों में , रिक्शों में तस्वीरों से मुझे देखते चेहरों में खानो में , गानों में , शहरों में चित्रों में , कविताओं में काजल से भरी आँखों में जुति में , लिपस्टिक में एक दो नहीं , नो नो घरों में ट्रैन में , प्लेन में , बस में , कार में एक ख़ास साथी की पुकार में टेक्स्ट में , सैक्स्ट में , सेक्स में चहरे पर खींचती हुई झुरियों में आवाज़ों में , साज़ों में , टीवी के शो में चलें जाने के बाद के FOMO में कहाँ दर्द होता है ? वो million dollar smile वाली फोटो जिसके आंसूं सिर्फ मुझे दिखते है और वो रोती हुई सेल्फी में जिसको विटनेस ...

Ruk jao, theher jao, tham jao Let there be a vaccum all around Let the air be heavy with despair Let breathing become difficult Make the taste go away from food Take away the colors for a while Ya kuch nahi toh Thoda world ki lights ko hee dim kardo Rok do sab kuch thodi der ke liye Let us in this hollow Listen to the gunshots being fired In Kashmir, in Assam, in Jamia Take away the comfort  Of the hassle of every day life Of a dying world that pretends To continue breathing.

May the adult in you have the strength To be kind to the child inside May you find playgrounds in offices And chuddy buddies in bookstores May there be giant teddy bears  To hug you on bad days And may there always be food Hot flavorful soul filling food May you create under your blanket A room where you can cry and Get angry and be fucking unreasonable And may you find lovers  Who love feeding these silly requests I pray that you learn That you are enough You are enough You are enough.

Tara. Agar tum saath ho. Tamasha. Heer toh badi sad hai. Heer.  Kuch hai iss movie mein. Something fantastical, something romantic beyond the real, a theatre. It is my go-to movie for sad, heartbroken days although a reason for my broken heart is Imtiaz Ali and his screwed-up notions of love. But kya gana hai, heer toh badi sad hai. Dil khush kar dene wala sad song. My soul song. The happiest song for a sad person. But aaj gungunate hue realize hua - it is Tara that I'm in love with. Ved is inessential. None of my dogs are named Ved (it's an important sign!). I love how she hums and dances and goes out for walks alone. I love the new year party she leaves to put on headphones and dance in the flowy white gown at home. I love how she sits at a cafe, pretending to read, waiting to meet the guy she's been looking for. I giggle at how she pretends to not notice him when he finally sees her. I love her smile when they finally go out on a real date. And I love, I lov...

When your best friend makes you feel small Draw a dot on a white sheet of paper And stick it on a white wall Download a countdown widget and give yourself 97 days before it stops hurting And every time it hurts Remind yourself how far you've come When your best friend makes excuses to cause you pain Expand your heart right up into a balloon And hand him a pin And every time he makes you feel small You make yourself big again When your best friend will no longer call Let the tears fall if you must cry Wait till your eyes run dry Expand your heart to full length again This time make it a wall

فاقہ  بھوکھ  میں سواد ہے انتظار کا بھوکھ کہتی ہے کچھ دیراور روک جاو  جیبھ بھیگنے دو ذرا پیٹ میں تھوڑی جگہ بنا دی جائے  ہر سیکنڈ کا مزا دوگنا ہو جایگا فاقہ بس بنا تیل کی گاڑی ہے جسے روکنا کی اجازت نہیں  Faaqa Bhookh mein swaad hai intezaar ka Bhookh kehti hai kuch der aur ruk jao Jeebh bheegne do zara PaeT mein thoDi jagah bana li jaaye Har second ka mazaa dugna ho jaega Faaqa bas Bina tael ki gaaDi hai Jise rukne ki ijazat nahin.